My Polygamy! Can a girl support it? I had to :D

“Then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice.” Holy quran.

“When a servant of Allah marries, he has completed half of his religious obligations and he must fear Allah in order to complete the second half” Holy Prophet (SAW)

Ah!!! Controversy topic number 3!!!

Firstly polygamy is divided into two, one is polygyny where a man marries more than one woman, and the other is polyandry, where a woman marries more than one man. In Islam, limited polygyny is permitted and polyandry is completely prohibited.

Now for those thinking, “Hmmph, listen to this idiot, she’s not even married and she’s inviting Polygamy…” well, I’m not inviting it and neither am I saying its COMPULSORY BY ORDER OF ALLAH for all the man of the universe!!! That said, no one said it will be easy, even I don’t expect it to ever be if that is what Allah has chosen for me. That’s because women are naturally extremely emotional, easy to bruise, territorial, conniving, manipulative and excessively jealous. Ok so HEY, if you see it my way, I think it really is for our benefit!!!

My point here is, ORDAINED FOR THEM IT IS, THEIR ADVANTAGE IT IS NOT (maybe only that they have more then one women at least but that’s the only advantage for them)!

Islam is a phenomenal religion SubhanAllah. There is to date NO functional religion that gives women more respect, dignity and rights then the Quran does. In fact, if you ask me I think men have absolutely no rights in the Quran compare to that given to women. From protecting what is hers, her money/earnings (what she earns, receives or through inheritance gets, during, after or before marriage belongs to only her); to her father, her brothers, her husband, her sons to take care of her and her children always by law; to protecting her by way of Hijab and mahram (way of dressing and companionship); to retaining her identity by keeping her fathers name even after marriage; to allowing her to re marry after divorce or death of her husband; to ALLOWING her to leave an abusive marriage or for the simple reason that she doesn’t love him anymore by means of divorce! SubhanAllah the list is endless!!!!

To add to that list we have POLYGAMY! In today’s modern world the overall ratio of men to women is significantly low. We’re looking at approx 1:3!! Now mothers, sisters, daughters- lets imagine all the women in the world get married to one man each, where does that leave you when you are not one of those “chosen” women? Ok, now lets imagine that you are one of those chosen women, and that marriage doesn’t work and now you are divorced or widowed and have 2+ kids then what? You remain single for the rest of your life because a man is not willing to marry you and your baggage as his one and only wife so you live a single life, probably struggle to feed your children, society points fingers at you, you grow old lonely without companionship and you get into zinnah because for sure you are a human with needs… all because you cannot be a second wife????? Where is the sense in that? For those who see the sense, imagine that! Don’t you agree that it is for your advantage?

Restricting each and every man to have only one wife is not practical, even if every man got married to one woman, there would still be more than thirty million more females in USA alone who would not be able to get husbands (considering that America has twenty five million gays). There would be more than four million females in Great Britain 5 million females in Germany and nine million females in Russia alone who would not be able to find a husband.

Imagine this; I am a wife and mother of 3 children, I love my husband and am trying to live an Islamic life and raise my children with hope of them growing with a strong Iman. I know my husband- like many men out there loves women, loves to appreciate their beauty and at the back of my mind I may also know that he likes to indulge in this appreciation at times! Ya Allah this kills me, I don’t know what kind of women he indulges with. I don’t know what disease he may bring, it hurts me that he is with someone else and now it may affect the respect his children have for him and also affect their iman since a father is the role model of his children. 

My stand has been against polygamy and I told him that if he ever married a second, I would leave him; now this is a man who doesn’t want to break his family and unfortunately (like many others) likes women and keeps one on the side, cannot marry her coz he’ll loose his family. Firstly, many women are like this lady they would rather leave then accept it, secondly, the fact is that polygyny is vehemently opposed by male dominated western and western influenced society because it would force men to fidelity. It would force them to take socio-econimoic responsibility for the fulfillment of their already polygynous desires and provide protection for women and children for mental and physical abuse. 

Islam comes in strongly here, for the believing men who’s nature is like that of the man above, then Allah permits him to have the 2^nd, 3^rd and 4^th wife if he will and then Allah goes on to command that he can only do so if he will cater for each of them equally, cater here meaning financially, emotionally, physically, intellectually etc. Now ladies, tell me how this does not benefit you, not only do you as the wife who will be aware of this union and not the wife who will be mocked as her husband has an illicit affair but also the woman he is marrying, as opposed to being a mistress or “woman on the side” Islam is the ONLY religion that has given her a way that she can posses dignity and social acceptance as supposed to humility and ridicule if she were to remain the “woman on the side”.

Ok, now lets imagine you cannot have children. You would prefer your husband divorces you and send you back to your parents so that he marries another for children? Again, Islam is the only religion that allows a woman the right to still remain married to her husband, still love him and he love her, still care for him and he care for her and at the same time permits that he can take a second wife. SubhanAllah!

A strong family structure is an absolute requirement for a strong and healthy society.

The Qur'an does not give preference in marrying more than one wife but allows it to make it easier on a woman that has no support and a wife that is barren.

Are you thinking, oh if it’s THAT great an idea then why has every other religion specified ONLY one marriage well my friend, did you know that the Quran is the ONLY religious book on the face of this earth that mentions “marry only one”? hmmm…? Well now you know. There is absolutely no restriction in any other scriptures, it is only later that the Christian and hindu priests restricted the marriages to one.

Now this is what I STRONGLY feel, many may not agree but these are my thought, my opinions; Notions of sex equality and romantic premarital ‘love’ are not necessary in Islamic marriage that is based on piety and the commitment on the part of both parents to win the pleasure of Almighty Allah. I think love, care, emotion and compassion is necessary thereafter however these feelings should not overcome you and allow you to forget our purpose in this life. This life that is a journey to please Allah, the life that is ONLY a journey for the destination which is the hereafter, one that we should all try and get through by the means set for us so that we may please our maker and meet him In sha Allah. How then can we let matters of duunyia affect us so much? The love for a man can make us sin tremendously towards Allah, the love for money, the love for land, the love for power and recognition!!!! It is because of this and it is this that will give me the strength to accept and be content with my marriage if at all my husband were to marry another.

“Do men think that they will be left alone on saying, ‘we believe’, and they will not be tested?” HQ 29:2

“If a woman says her prayers, fasts her month (Ramadhan), gaurds her private parts and obeys her husband, she may enter paradise by any door she chooses” Holy Prophet (SAW)

To finish off, polygamy is a complicated aspect of marriage in Islam in which the welfare of the community supersedes the desires of the individual.

Polygamy exists all over the world, but in Islam the second/third/fourth woman is treated with respect and is called a wife. In the western countries they are called girlfriends or mistresses and have no rights upon the man or their children!

Tests and pains both physical and emotional cannot be avoided nor can the aspect of Islamic system be negated merely to justify an individual’s or group’s opinions.

Although polygyny may be painful for some women, it is also beneficial for other women and society as a whole. Muslims must accept the whole of Allah’s meesage and submit to the fact that Allah’s wisdom is far more superior to our opinions.

Marriage in Islam is more then just a means of obtaining legal sex; it is an extremely important institution which safeguards the rights of women, men and children while satisfying the physical, emotional and intellectual needs of the family members.

If you are well read with the history of Islam or the Quran that covers it, you will be aware of the many women trough out the times who lived in the harshest of times, in abject poverty and even fought battles besides their men, women not influenced by the lure of the material world and who excelled within the Islamic bounds set for women. Yet today there are those who ask, what type of woman would marry a man who is already married, without considering that they need not go further then the wives of our holy prophet (SAW).  Yes of course the standard reply is, “those were different times” Perhaps they are unaware that Allah’s law as contained in the final dispensation, Islam, are not bound by considerations of time or place, but stand applicable whenever circumstances permit.

"This day I have perfected your religion for you, completed My Favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islâm as your religion." Al- Maaidah:3

Sigh, that was a lot of brain function for me, I’ve been thinking like this for years and I’m glad I’ve put it down in words. I hope I made lots of sense. May Allah guide us, strengthen our iman and be pleased with the work of his servants. Ameen

“There are several other reasons, why Islam has permitted limited polygyny, but it is mainly to protect the modesty of women.” Dr. Zakir Naik

The importance of the Sunnah in Islam.

It is all this "Online Islam teaching" that is twisted and manipulated by enemies of Islam so as to try and attempt to dilute and misguide Mumin and learners of Islam that got me to start blogging in the first place.

It is our Fardh as Muslims who can read, write and comprehend to share whatever true knowledge of the religion that we may have so as to force out the wrong doers.

Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim.

Allah SWT says repeatedly in the Quran to obey both Him and the Messenger.

Examples are:

Surah an-Nisa ayah 59.

Ya ayyuha alladhina amanu ati Allaha wa ati ar-Rasul wa ulu'l-amr min kum. Fa in tanaza'tun fi shay'in fa rudduhu ilaAllahi wa ar-Rasul in kuntum tu'minuna bIllahi wa'l-Yawmi al-Akhir. Dhalika khayrun wa ahsanu ta'wil.

O you, those who have faith, obey Allah and obey the Messenger and those in authority among you. And if you dispute over a thing, then return it to Allah and the Messenger, if you have faith in Allah and the Last Day. That is better and more beautiful of interpretation.

He says that the Prophet (SAW) has been sent to explain the Quran, not just to deliver it (Surah an-Nahl ayah 44).

Bi al-bayyinat wa az-Zubur wa anzalna ilayka adh-Dhikra li-tubayyina li an-nas maa nuzzila ilayhim wa la'allahum yatafakkarun.

By clear proofs and scriptures, and We have sent down on you (O Prophet) the Reminder, that you can explain to humankind what is sent down for them and in order that they may reflect.

He says that people do not have faith if they do not take the Prophet (sAas) as the judge of their disputes (Surah an-Nisa ayah 65).

Fa laa wa Rabbika laa yu'minuna hatta yuhakkimuka fi maa shajara baynahum thumma laa yajidu fi anfusihim haraj min maa qadayta wa yusallimu taslima.

No, by your Lord and Sustainer, they do not have faith until they have you (O Prophet) judge what is disputed among them, then they do not find in their souls any distress at what you have decided, and they accept it wholly and completely.

He says that when He and the Prophet (SAW) have decided a matter, it is not for any believing man or woman to do anything but obey (Surah al-Ahzab ayah 36).

Wa maa kana li mu'min wa laa mu'minah idha qadaAllahu wa Rasuluhu amran an yakuna lahum al-khiyarat min amrihim wa man ya'siAllaha wa Rasulaha faqad dalla dalala mubin.

And it is not ever for a faithful man or a faithful woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decided an affair that there is any choice for them in their affair, and who disobeys Allah and His Messenger, so he is indeed wandering far astray.

He says that what the Messenger gives, people should take, and what he prohibits, they should abstain from (Surah al-Hashr ayah 7).

...Wa maa atakum ar-Rasul fa khudhuhu wa maa nahakhum anhu fa intahu. Wa ittaquAllah innAllaha Shadid al-Iqab.

...And what the Messenger gives you, so take it, and what he prohibits you, so refrain from it. And be in awe of Allah. Surely Allah is Stern of Punishment.

How do we determine what the Prophet (SAW) has ordered, in order to obey it?

How do we find out what he judged in disputes so that we can abide by it?

How do we know what he has decided on matters, so that we can submit to it?

How do we discover what he has given, so that we can take it, or what he has prohibited, so we can abstain from it?

The answer to all these questions is very simple: we look to the SUNNA. If you deny the validity of the Sunna then you may end up disobeying what the Prophet (SAW) has commanded, turning away from what he has judged, rejecting what he has decided, ignoring what he has given, and doing what he has prohibited.

And if you fall to these acts of disobedience, turning-away, rejecting, ignoring, and doing-the-prohibited then YOU HAVE DISOBEYED ALLAH. It's that simple. It is incumbent upon every Muslim to obey both the Quran and the Sunna. Read the verses I have cited for yourself. What do you think they mean?

The Mistake of Those Who Confuse the Sunna and the Hadiths

Very often, those who proclaim that they follow the Quran only, ignore the Sunna and concentrate on the hadiths. They assume that if they can refute or disprove the hadiths, they have proved their own position.

Their mistake is to assume that the Sunna and the hadiths are the same thing. This is incorrect. No scholar of Islam has ever claimed that the sources of Shari'a are "the Quran and the hadiths". Rather, the correct statement is that the sources of Shari'a are the Quran and the SUNNA.

The hadiths are a textual source for determining what the Sunna is. But they are not by themselves the Sunna.

The scholars of Islam have developed a sophisticated methodology for collecting the hadiths and for determining from them what the Sunna is. This collection of traditions of the prophet became the second major source of learning in Islam.

Collecting the hadiths: Briefly, the great collectors of hadiths such as Imam Bukhari and Imam Muslim followed a methodology that they collected everything that there was on a subject, and they marked down how authentic it was. Rather than discarding the material they felt was not wholly authentic, so that it became lost to history, they included it. This means that other scholars can examine the evidence for themselves, and make their own determination of what is authentic.

The above description of the methodology of the hadith collectors should make it abundantly clear why there are hadiths that appear to be contradictory, hadiths with variant wordings, and all the other problems with hadiths that the rejectors point to. Imam Bukhari and Imam Muslim, and the other great hadith collectors, were not incompetent. Rather, they saw their job to be preserving the evidence so that each later scholar could make his own determination.

There is no reason for any Muslim to be confused or feel doubt because of variant hadiths in the collections. It is simply a matter of learning about the methodologies and procedures of the scholars.

Determining the Sunna: The science of fiqh (Islamic jurisprudence) is the science of deriving rulings from the sources of Shari'a. Part of fiqh is determining from the hadiths what the Sunna is. This too is a sophisticated science.

First, all the hadiths on a given subject should be gathered. Next, the scholar studies their authenticity to determine which give a correct report of what the Prophet (SAW) said, did, or allowed. He may consider such factors as what the practice of the Muslims in the matter has been, if the absence of reports to the contrary actually indicates a consensus of the Sahaba (RA) behind the existing reports, even if only a few people have transmitted them, and other issues.

It is only after this analysis that the scholar has made his determination of what the Sunna is. He does not simply pick and choose hadiths at random, or take their text out of context. The reason he may only quote one or two is that he has determined that it or they express most clearly what the Sunna is.

Dear Brothers and sister, be you the non-Muslim looking for answers or the Muslim searching for more truth, beware of the Internet and don’t put trust in everything you read. Let the Qur’an be your only guide.

Surah 15 Versse 9

We have, without doubt, sent down the Message; and We will assuredly guard it (from corruption).

Inna nahnu nazzalna alththikrawa-inna lahu lahafithoona

May peace be unto you all

Many thanks to brother Al-Muhajabah.

Rohani's- a 6th Sense? Jinn? Demonic possesion?

Assalam Aleikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu.
 

I am a young born and practicing Muslim lady living in Nairobi Kenya. 

I don't really know how this works, but i'm sure many will be able to tell that this IS my first blog. 

I have a issue that i would like to pick many brains about (I've battered mine enough about it) I would hope many can contribute and share in this somewhat odd natured topic that is however widely "exploited" within Africa and has definitely raised the alarm for me. 

There is a thing known as "ROHANI" there may be another term used to refer to it that I'm not aware of however in description, it is a sort of spirit that overcomes ones body and in many cases it reveals things to the person but can also tell you of the future or of what someone did behind your back, it can tell you where to find things that have been hidden etc.

Rohanis are said to live inside of someone and only surface when awoken or when they desire to reveal something to the body they are in. They come in various forms e.g. as an old man, as a child as a lady. They mostly claim to be descendants from ancestors and they almost always claim to be either royalty or of very high esteem and power. Having witnessed it on many occasions myself, including within my own family and if that’s not enough, I have witnessed hundreds of local maalims or people whom you go to when faced with jinn possession or hardships for prayer. In all experiences, they are awoken by uban, or incense sticks and rose water etc, many request for white or red cloth so as to be covered with before they start speaking.

I may be wrong for I am not ulamaa or extremely well read but with the little knowledge that I have, I highly feel that this practice is haram and a form of shirk for no one but Allah (SWT) should be able to do such things. However I have to ask and share these views with the public for answers/opinions as I am confused as to why the learned within the community claim to have these “rohanis” also and use them to heal people touched by evil etc.

I would like to know what term or reference these creations are given in Islam (if they truly exist- given how popular they are it is hard to think they are only myth). They cannot be ghosts because as far as my understanding of the religion goes, Islam does not believe in lost souls or souls who were taken too early... etc etc therefore even though the rohani claims to be a person, it cannot be a human person for souls do not live in someone else or remain on earth. Secondly, I know of the Qareen, which is a jinn companion that is assigned to every soul and is meant to encourage you to do bad, according to what I have read, the Qareen is prohibited to communicate in any way whatsoever with it’s body or other however there are recorded incidences of some sheikhs claiming to speak to the Qareens of persons for example who have been ill in hospital for a while, the Qareen is able to inform them of what the person may have eaten or done so as to cause his/her illness since it is with them every time and everywhere. Thirdly, this might as well be a jinn, one that has possessed these people (if this may be so, the rate of these possessions is phenomenal Subhan’Allah for there are thousands of people only locally that claim to have these symptoms) so as to lead them astray by making them believe that God has bestowed this companion on them, one who will give them super natural powers and reveal that what is known only to Allah (SWT), ya allah if this is that case then the shirk that is being committed by people here and especially those claiming to be men of God that are looked up upon by the community. It is easy for me to believe that my third option is true for these people who claim to have the rohani experience great strength, if it is a woman with a male rohani, the ladies voice changes to that of a man so does her physical behavior. The rohani also gives information that may not be necessarily known to the body of the person it is in etc. According to various hadith we are informed that jinn do such things so as to betray or lead astray the ummah so that they may think that it is a mercy/gift from Allah SWT.

I have posed this question to a forum of imams online at Islam awareness.com and got an answer telling me that Muslims should concern themselves with what the Quran says and not things that have no place in Islam however I have to state strongly that even though the “rohanis” are beings not recognized in Islam, they would then still be of major concern to me and my fellow muslims locally who are not aware and are being led astray. If this is so I would like to share with them information with your help so as to inform them of the same.

I would sincerely like share the out come of any opinions with the equally concerned local brothers and sisters. I am desperate to not only put myself to ease about all these thoughts in my head, but also so that I may try my best to restore deen within the muslim community locally.

May peace be unto you.